


A New Horizon

by twilight_shades



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Abandonment, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Child Neglect, Feelings, Injury Recovery, Major Character Injury, Multi, Post-Season/Series 02, Self-Destructive Tendencies, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Worth Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-19
Updated: 2019-01-19
Packaged: 2019-10-12 10:53:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17466188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twilight_shades/pseuds/twilight_shades
Summary: This is about Steve and his issues (and his relationships with his issues).  This is about Steve and his relationships (and his issues with his relationships).





	A New Horizon

**Author's Note:**

> When I started writing this, it was supposed to be an exploratory foursome because I couldn't decide whether I wanted Billy/Steve or Jonathan/Nancy/Steve more, but it very quickly became about Steve and all his feelings. And Steve has a lot of feelings. So, if you came to this looking for lots of foursome action, which I completely understand, sorry, this is not that story.
> 
> Disclaimer: Do not own. Complete fiction.

Steve can’t help clenching his teeth as he tries not to breathe too loudly while he gingerly pulls the arm of his shirt from under Nancy. He finally gets it free and puts it on. He quietly leaves the room. When he reaches the front door, he pauses, wondering if he should stick around. He really, really doesn’t want to be here for the fallout, though. He reasons that as bad as it could be with Nancy, Jonathan, and Billy all waking up in bed together, Steve still being there could make it worse. There was one point when he was pretty sure Nancy was going to try to tear Billy’s head (or possibly something else) off because she took offense to the way he talked to Steve, the way he looked at Steve, and the way he breathed around Steve. Steve had honestly been tuning out a lot of what Billy said and did for a while – it had been exhausting to be so annoyed so Steve’d just stopped paying much attention the needling, which had had the bonus effect of driving Billy up the damn wall.

Steve makes his way across Nancy’s yard to his car in the pre-dawn light. He’s still not entirely sure how the four of them had ended up here after Pamela Wilson’s party, but they all had. Steve is kind of glad his parents are in town until tomorrow, since the four of them would have likely gone to his place otherwise and then he probably wouldn’t have been bold enough to sneak out of his own house. Probably. He is a little surprised that Nancy’s parents left her and Mike on their own overnight, but their parents seem to trust them more, now. Steve wouldn’t have called that. Steve starts his car and drives home, trying not to let thoughts of the night distract him. 

There’s a light on in the living room. It’s not that surprising as his mom, often having bouts of insomnia, will come downstairs and turn the television on low for white noise while she reads or does a crossword puzzle. When Steve was younger, he used to get up sometimes and join her. Then she would read to him or they would make cookies or play Connect Four or something. But after Steve fell asleep in class one day and the teacher called home, well, that was the end of that and she would shoo him back to bed if he woke up at night.

He lets himself in and closes the door. His mom calls out softly to him as he walks down the hall. He goes over and leans against the entryway to the living room.

“Did you have fun?” his mom asks from the sofa, still looking at the newspaper in her hand.

He debates with himself for a moment, but then decides to go ahead with the truth. He honestly doesn’t know if it will unsettle her or not, not much does. As long as appearances are kept up, she doesn’t much seem to care what anyone actually does. Steve has never been able to figure out if that’s better or worse than his dad, who does care what Steve does (what little his dad is around for and what gets back to him later), but disapproves of pretty much everything. “Had an orgy. Wasn’t what I expected.”

His mom lowers her paper and looks over to him. She frowns. “Did you use protection?” she asks seriously.

He nods.

“Good.” She tilts her head. “Well, it’s useful to learn what you don’t like as well as what you do.”

“I didn’t, I liked it, well I,” Steve stumbles over his words. He sometimes has trouble figuring out what he wants to say, though talking about _this_ with his mother makes it worse. He sighs. “It was good. The, uh, act. But I didn’t really think about the… after. How I would feel, how I would act around, well, everyone.”

His mom raises her eyebrows and he parrots along with her, “Actions have consequences.” And they give each other wry smiles after saying his dad’s oft-repeated phrase.

Steve hooks a thumb towards the stairs. “I’m going to head up to bed.”

“Your father and I will be leaving at eleven tomorrow,” his mom says mildly.

They aren’t even staying for lunch with Steve – sometimes he wonders why they bother to come back to Hawkins at all. “I’ll be up to see you off,” Steve says.

His mom raises the paper again. “Right. Goodnight, Steve.”

“Goodnight, Mom.”

~~~

Steve putters around the house after his parents leave. He’d only gotten a couple of hours of sleep before getting up again, but he’s not really tired. He actually feels jittery. He makes some pot roast to eat, knowing the leftovers will last him several days. He’s a decent, but not great cook, so when he learns a dish he can do easy and well, he sticks with it. He’s got maybe eight main dishes that he can cook well and without too much effort, so he mostly rotates them for dinner and the occasional lunch, along with pizza from Ray’s or something at the diner once a week. He can do three other things that are more work, but he doesn’t usually want to bother. He can do a fair amount of breakfast stuff, but he usually just goes with cereal and toast because he’d usually rather sleep for the time a bigger breakfast would take. He generally makes sandwiches to bring to school for lunch, but only because his mom used to do it for him (and appearances are important). 

He can bake a lot of things, though. He’s gotten good at cake and pie and brownies. Sometimes he makes too much, so he’ll drop some off with Mrs. Rombauer, who lives down the block. Now, he also sometimes takes some Mrs. Henderson. He’s thinks they might know he’s the one who actually makes them, not his mom, as some people seem to assume. They’ve never said anything, which is good because then he might have to stop - appearances, you know. He doesn’t make cookies.

He eats and then packs the food away. He cleans up afterwards. Sometimes he waits before cleaning so that it isn’t all sterile, so it feels more like there’s someone who lives here. Sometimes he feels like a ghost in his own life.

It’s not until someone rings the doorbell that he realizes that he was waiting for someone to show up. Except, when he opens the door after a few moments of collecting himself, it turns out to be none of the people he thought it would be. “Dustin?”

Dustin’s eyes are darting up and down like he checking Steve for something. “Are you okay?” he whispers.

“Yeah,” Steve whispers back. “Why are we whispering?”

“Your parents!” Dustin whispers, though it’s almost as loud as his usual speaking voice.

“Oh, they’re gone,” Steve says, dropping the whispering and letting Dustin into the house.

“Already?” Dustin says, definitely not even trying to be quiet anymore.

Steve crosses his arms. “Yeah.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Dustin asks, seeming a little confused.

Steve actually looks himself up and down and thinks about it for a moment because there’s reason enough in this town to double check even if he seems fine. “Pretty sure. What’s going on?”

Dustin frowns and huffs. “I don’t know. We heard Nancy and Jonathan and Billy arguing about you and it really sounded like they thought you weren’t okay.”

“You _heard_.”

“We weren’t eavesdropping!” Dustin protests.

Steve raises his eyebrows.

“Much. They were being really loud.”

Steve sighs. They probably were. “Yeah, okay. It’s nice of you to check on me anyway.” It is nice to know that someone cares, that maybe someone would notice if Steve wasn’t around (Steve’s had a dark thought for a few years now that if he fell down the stairs and broke his neck no one would know until the body started to smell ).

“So, why did Nancy and Jonathan and Billy think you were messed up?”

Steve blows out a breath. “Ask me when you’re older.”

Dustin scowls at him.

“No, seriously. I know you know a lot of stuff and understand things that I don’t, but this really does have something to do with getting older.”

Dustin looks at him for a few seconds, then gives him a slightly disgusted look. “Is this about- No, never mind, I don’t want to know. But you are okay?”

“Yes, Dustin, I’m okay.”

“All right, but you don’t look happy.”

Steve doesn’t really have an answer for that. He goes with, “I’m not sick or hurt, okay?”

Dustin squints up at him for a long moment, but seems to accept that. “Okay.”

“Want a ride home?”

“Nah, going to meet up with the others to ride over to… somewhere.”

The pause makes Steve frown, sure the little shits are up to something. “Somewhere?”

“Nowhere dangerous.”

“Swear?”

“Yes, Steve.”

“Okay, but if I find out you all are messing with something you shouldn’t, I’ll… tell Hopper.”

“Steve!”

“And Mrs. Byers.”

“Shit, try to do something nice,” Dustin mutters as he opens the door to leave.

“Dustin.”

“What?”

“Thanks.”

Dustin smiles at Steve. “Yeah, see you later.”

Steve watches as Dustin walks across the yard and gets on his bike. Steve doesn’t close the door until Dustin and his bike are out of sight.

~~~

The visit Steve was expecting doesn’t happen for another couple of hours. This time when the doorbell rings, he’s pretty sure who it will be. He takes his time about answering, long enough that someone starts rapping short, sharp knocks against the door, joined by some booming pounding. Steve swings open the door to find Nancy, Billy, and Jonathan. Nancy looks a little unsure, but very determined while shooting glares at Billy, Billy looks a little angry but also cocky, smiling at Nancy in a way that’s much more a baring of his teeth, and Jonathan, standing behind them, looks a little nervous and kind of sorry, though he rolls his eyes at Nancy’s and Billy’s antics. Steve’s not sure if Jonathan’s actually nervous because he usually kind of looks like he is, no matter what’s going on.

Steve sighs a little, not really wanting to do this, but pretty sure neither Nancy nor Billy will let it go. Jonathan might, then again he can be just as stubborn as Nancy if he decides to be. Steve gestures them into the house and in they come. He closes the door behind them and reluctantly follows them to the living room where Nancy had confidently marched, somehow beat there by Billy’s swaggering steps, while Jonathan had lagged behind, glancing back at Steve like he thought Steve might run off.

Billy sprawls in the armchair, while Nancy primly sits on the sofa, weirdly choosing to sit on the end that’s closest to the chair Billy took, and Jonathan settles next to her. Steve remains standing.

“Sooo, King Steve, Miss Priss, here, seems to think you were upset. And maybe you don’t look happy, but you also don’t look like you’re freaking out or going to have a meltdown,” Billy says.

“I’m not freaking out or going to have a meltdown,” Steve says.

“Why did you leave then?” Nancy asks.

“So I should have stayed so that I could watch you and Billy argue about, well, everything?” Steve asks tiredly.

“No, you should have stayed so we, all of us, could talk about this, us,” Nancy says.

“Do we have to?” Steve asks. Okay, maybe he whines it, a little.

“Yes!” Nancy says heatedly. “There’s a lot of stuff we have to figure out.”

“Plus, it’s not like we can talk to anyone else about what happened,” Billy interjects, licking his lips lewdly. “The citizens would be scandalized,” he says, then pauses, his lips twisting in an ugly sneer, “or they would get the pitchforks.”

“I told my mom,” Steve says, not really thinking about it.

“What? Why?” Billy asks, looking at Steve like he’s an alien.

Steve doesn’t really want to admit he was maybe just trying to get a reaction, get her to _see_ Steve. “What difference does it make? She didn’t care. And it’s not like it’s going to happen again.”

“It isn’t?” Jonathan asks.

“I don’t know why it happened in the first place.” Steve points between Nancy and Billy. “You two can’t seem to stand each other and I don’t know why I was part of it.”

“You didn’t… like it?” Jonathan asks, frowning.

“It was good, but, you know, stupid. For me.”

“What do you mean stupid, Pretty Boy?” Billy demands.

“Yeah, Steve, what are you talking about?” Nancy asks.

“I’m talking about sleeping with the girl who broke my heart, the guy she moved on with before we’d really ended it and who beat the crap out of me, and the guy that hassled me and then also beat the crap out of me. Just doesn’t seem very smart, now does it?” Steve asks sarcastically.

“I thought you forgave us,” Jonathan mumbles.

Steve gives him puzzled look. “What does that have to do with anything? You apologized and meant it, so I forgave you.” And they had. Each of them, at some point after that crazy night the gate was closed, had come to Steve and apologized. Jonathan and he had hashed all the things that had happened the year before that they hadn’t talked about before. Nancy and he had actually sat down and had a painfully awkward conversation when they weren’t worried about people dying or the world ending. And Billy, well, Steve had thought Max had had something to do with it at first when Billy had asked to talk, but though the words had seemed forced out, Steve had judged them real. “But just because you know it was wrong and you were sorry I was hurt doesn’t mean it won’t happen again. People do things that they know are wrong and things that they know hurt others all the time. I thought I was supposed to be the dumb one.”

“Steve, you’re not dumb,” Nancy says.

Steve rolls his eyes. “C’mon, Nance.”

“Not even going to give us a chance, Harrington?” Billy says sharply.

It’s a challenge, but behind that, Billy looks tense, maybe worried, like this really matters to him. Steve eyes Nancy and Jonathan and they also seem anxious about his answer. Maybe they all really do believe that this won’t end badly. Is that enough for Steve, though? Maybe if he goes into this with his eyes wide open, knowing, it won’t be so bad. And when the inevitable happens, when Billy leaves for California and Nancy and Jonathan go off to college, leaving Steve behind, like he’s been left so many times, he can have the memories of this. So, instead of being smart and telling them no, Steve asks, “And what would you do with a chance?”

Billy smirks, but before he can say anything, Jonathan says, “Show you how much we want this, want you, with us.”

“Okay,” Steve says, even though he knows he shouldn’t, even though he knows that he should try to protect himself. But he’s pretty terrible at that these days. “Okay.”

~~~

It’s weird and they have to hide it from most everyone, but somehow, together, they work. Mostly, anyway. There are fights, which generally means either Nancy or Billy will go storming off. And it somehow becomes Steve’s job to go after whoever leaves. Even the one time it’s Jonathan who storms off (and isn’t that a shock?), Nancy and Billy look at him until he gets up and trails after Jonathan. Steve does what he usually does, listens and agrees with everything the person who left says. Steve’s not entirely sure why that works as no one seems to actually believe it when he agrees with them, but it does work. Steve never storms off. There’s a part of him that’s worried that no one would come after him. Though, sometimes he spends a little more time away from them after a big fight - helping out more at the community center or hanging out with the kids. 

They’re pretty careful and, honestly, it’s not the usual conclusion people jump to when a group of teenagers hang out together. Steve is a little concerned about the kids, but none of them seem to catch on. Except for maybe Lucas. Steve notices him watching a couple of times, instead of paying attention to the other kids.

Steve knows he’s right when he goes to drop off Lucas after everyone else and Lucas doesn’t get out of the car when they stop in front of his house. Steve puts the car in park and turns off the motor and waits.

Lucas seems to steel himself. “You and… All of you? Together?”

Steve hesitates, but then says, “Yeah.”

“Even Billy?”

Steve nods.

“He beat you up.”

“Yeah.”

Lucas gives him a skeptical look. “That really doesn’t seem like a good idea.”

“No, it’s a terrible idea, and not just because of Billy. They’ve all hurt me, but I’ve forgiven them. I know it’s not going to end well, but I knew that going in. Sometimes you take what you can get.”

Lucas looks unconvinced, but says, “I guess.”

“Look, it’s fine.”

Lucas grimaces. “It’s not really. You should expect more. You deserve something that goes well.”

Steve’s touched. “Thanks, man.”

Lucas shrugs it off and opens the car door. “I won’t tell anyone, but if anyone in the Party figures it out on their own, I’m not covering for you guys.” Then he gets out of the car.

“Okay, goodnight, Lucas.”

“Night, Steve.” Lucas closes the car door.

Steve starts the car, but doesn’t drive away until Lucas is inside his house.

~~~

Steve is sort of drowsing, lying in bed, enjoying the afterglow. Someone is playing with his hair; he’s not sure who and he’s feeling a little too lazy and content to check. It’s slightly more likely to be Billy as he’s just a bit more into touching and holding than Nancy or Jonathan, which had been a little surprising when Steve had realized it, but then he’d thought about how hands-on Billy had always been. All three of them like his hair, so Steve supposes it’s a good thing he likes it when they stroke it.

He also really likes it when Nancy cuddles up close to his chest and presses idle kisses to it before falling asleep, and when Jonathan leans in against his shoulder, sometimes pressing his forehead to Steve’s cheek or temple, and when Billy gets an arm around Steve and pulls him in, Steve’s back against Billy chest, Billy’s chin on Steve’s shoulder, one of Billy’s legs thrown over Steve’s, so Billy just surrounds Steve. But then sometimes all of them will get close, find a way to fit together so that everyone is touching. And sometimes when they’re like that, Jonathan will talk quietly about the things he’s taken pictures of and what he wants to capture on film, or Nancy will talk about her hopes, or Billy will talk about what he used to do before they moved out here. Steve wonders if they think it’s weird that in those moments, he mostly talks about them. Maybe they don’t think it’s weird, after all, Billy doesn’t talk about his bruises, Jonathan doesn’t talk about his family, and Nancy doesn’t talk about Barb.

Steve both loves and hates these moments because these are what he’ll miss when they’re gone. He’ll miss the sex, yeah, but these quiet moments, just being with them, are the ones that he’ll think about. These are what he’ll long for when he’s left alone.

~~~

Steve lays on the ground, still breathing unevenly. He’s a little dizzy from hitting his head. It’s maybe not quite as bad as the number Billy did on it last year. Except when he tries to lift his head, pain crashes over him and his stomach lurches, so maybe it’s worse. He pushes his jacket harder against the wound in his side, but it doesn’t seem to help much. At least he took out the Demo…bat? He has no idea. Just that it was grotesque, had a lot of teeth, and could _fly_. A laugh bubbles up from nowhere, sounding strange to his own ears. All that worry, all that sadness and pain, and _this_ is how it will end. All the weird stuff was supposed to be over, was supposed to be gone. He should have known better. Of course it wasn’t over. And some little part of him must have known because he’d kept the goddamn bat. If only that part had let the rest of him know because it would have been really nice to just let everything go and just enjoy being with Nancy, Billy, and Jonathan before dying horribly. It would have been nice to just give them everything (not that he’d really been able to hold back much, but he had a little). And all that upset over being left behind, where had that gotten him? It looks like he’s the one that’s going to leave everyone behind now.

Steve wonders where everyone is. The whole group had separated into smaller groups and he’d had someone with him, but he cannot remember who. He’d had all the kids and Jonathan with him at first, but then they had split up for some reason that seems really hazy right now. He hopes everyone is okay. He blinks and then suddenly Jonathan is there.

“Jesus, Steve,” Jonathan says, his voice breaking. Jonathan drops to his knees by Steve’s side, gently wrestles the jacket from Steve’s grip and looks under it. His face goes white and he presses the jacket down hard.

Steve grunts from the pain. “Everyone okay?”

“What? Oh. Uh, Nancy and Billy aren’t back yet. But the kids are fine, they’re with Hop and my mom. Max, Will, and Lucas said there was some kind of creature and you told them to run.”

Max, Will, and Lucas! _That’s_ who was with him. Well, that makes sense. He got the kids who will listen when he says to run. Not ignore him and decide to stay, out of a sense of loyalty and thinking he knows better, like Dustin probably would; or out of contrariness and thinking he knows better, like Mike definitely would; or because she is actually much better at fighting most things than him, like El would. Of course, both Max and Lucas could have decided to stay out of sheer stubbornness and Will could have because of not wanting to leave Steve alone. Steve smiles, they’re all nuisances in their own ways and Steve wouldn’t change them if he could. “Yeah.” Steve gestures vaguely over to the dead creature a few feet to his right. “I’m calling it a Demobat.”

Jonathan looks over at it and makes a face. Jonathan focuses on Steve again. “Everyone will be here soon and then we can get you to a hospital, they were right behind me. And Nancy and Billy should be back soon.”

Steve’s not at all sure that’s going to happen, but it seems important to Jonathan that he believes it, so he agrees, “Sure.”

A minute or two ticks by. “They’ll be here.”

Steve would really like to join Jonathan in his optimism (a little surprising from a guy who often looks like he thinks the world is about to end), but Steve has some things he needs to say. “Listen, tell the kids to take care off themselves and each other.”

“What? Steve, don’t do this, don’t make some… declaration.”

“Tell them all to be more careful, especially Dustin because they all think this stuff is much cooler and less dangerous than it really is. Tell Hopper and your mom… thanks.”

“Steve, Steve,” Jonathan says, upset. He leans down to kiss Steve softly and then looks him in the eye and says, “You’re going to be okay.”

“Shut up,” Steve says fondly. Steve doesn’t feel as much pain and he’s pretty sure that’s a bad sign. “I’m sorry. Tell Billy and Nancy that I’m sorry. I didn’t think I would be the one leaving you guys behind. So, I’m sorry for not being a hundred percent in. I thought it would hurt too much when you all left. I don’t think it matters much anyway because I love you, all of you, you and Nancy and Billy. It was always going to wreck me.”

“Steve, we weren’t, we’re not going anywhere.”

Steve rolls his eyes. “Okay, College Boy. Might want to double check with College Girl and Leaving-for-California Guy before you say that.”

Jonathan looks like he doesn’t know what to say.

“It’s okay. Well, no, it’s not okay. But I knew going into it, so that’s on me.”

“Steve,” Jonathan says sadly.

“Don’t tell Nancy or Billy, but I like you best. I _get_ Billy the best and I admire Nancy the most. I love you all, but I like _you_ best.”

Jonathan seems surprised. “Really?”

“Yeah, you’re…thoughtful and easy to be around. Hey, tell my mom I’m sorry.” Steve is really tired and words feel thick in his mouth now. “Sorry for…” he tries to finish, but kind of drifts off.

“Hey, wake up, Steve, talk to me.” Jonathan says firmly. “Steve, c’mon. Sorry for what, Steve?” 

Steve blinks at Jonathan. “Huh?”

“You said to tell your mom that you were sorry. Sorry for what?”

“Oh. Sorry for whatever it is I did that made them not want to be around me. Sorry for not being the son they wanted, I guess. Tell her, okay?” Steve’s dad would probably just sigh at the sentiment, while his mom might actually appreciate it.

“I will,” Jonathan says, looking determined.

“Good, I…” Steve trails off when he can’t remember what he wanted to say. He’s really tired and cold and everything has gone a little fuzzy and distant. He thinks he hears someone shouting and then nothing.

~~~

El is in front of him, which seems strange. She looks solemn, which is pretty normal. Steve has no idea how either of them got here, wherever they are. Steve looks around but it’s dark and it looks like the floor is water. He looks back at El. “Where are we? Is this- Am I dead?”

El looks concerned, but says, “No.”

“Are you sure?”

“You’re in a coma.”

“Oh.” Huh. That’s probably why he doesn’t feel anything and everything seems so distant.

“Everyone’s worried about you.”

“They are?”

“Yes. Nancy, Jonathan, and Billy, most. But the Party, too and-“

“Even Mike?”

El gives him a small smile. “Even Mike.”

“Hop and Mrs. Byers?”

El nods.

Well, that’s nice. Not that they’re worried, but that they care enough to be.

El nods like she knows what he’s thinking and agrees. Maybe she does. “And your parents.”

What? “ _My parents?_ ”

El looks confused by his reaction, but nods.

Steve is stunned. “In Hawkins? At the hospital? Wait. Am I in the hospital in Hawkins?”

“Yes.”

“And my parents are here? Really?”

“Aren’t parents supposed to be there when you’re sick or hurt?” El asks, sounding unsure.

“Yeah, they’re supposed to be. But people don’t always do what they are supposed to.”

El considers this, then nods. “You have to wake up.”

“I’m not sure I can. I think,” Steve says and pauses, trying to find the words to explain, “I’m really far away or maybe really deep?”

El frowns. “You have to try.”

“I’m not sure how.” And part of him is not sure he should.

El tilts her head. “I think you have to want to, first,” she says slowly.

“I do want to, I just, I guess I thought that was supposed to be it, that I was gone,” Steve says, thinking about how it had felt. “I do want to,” he says more confidently, “this shouldn’t be the end.”

“Okay.”

“Any ideas?”

El’s face scrunches up as she thinks. “Close your eyes.”

Steve does.

“Think about what’s outside of this place. Think about what it feels like when you’re lying down, what you feel around you. Can you feel anything?”

Steve tries, he really does, but he can’t feel anything. After a couple of minutes, he says, “No.”

El is quiet for a moment. “Can you hear anything?”

Steve listens and it’s quiet, but just as he’s about to give up, he hears something. “Uh, I can hear something beeping.” He opens his eyes and even though he’s not concentrating on it, he can still hear it.

El is looking at him. “They have these machines, at the hospital.”

Right, because he’s in a coma and they need to keep track of his heartbeat and stuff. “Oh.”

“Try to follow that sound back.”

“Okay, I’ll, I’ll try. Um, thanks. For, you know, coming to find me.”

El smiles.

~~~

Every time Steve wakes up, whoever is in the room looks at him worriedly. He gets it, since the first four times he’d woken, he’d been told what happened (or the cover story, anyway) and where he was and then hadn’t remembered when he’d woken again. Well, that’s what they tell him, anyway. So, he gets it, but he can only seem to stay awake a few minutes at a time, which means it’s been happening a lot in the past two days since he woke up from his coma. It makes him tense, though. And on top of that, his parents are there and they’re there every time he wakes up and he has no idea what to do with that. Steve can’t tell if his parents believe the story about him getting attacked by a wild animal and protecting the kids, but if they don’t, they aren’t questioning Steve. But it means he can’t really talk to anyone about what really happened and everyone has stopped by. They don’t seem really sure how to deal with his parents, either. There is a lot of strangely polite and stiff conversation that goes on around him.

After another couple of days, when he can stay awake for a few hours at a time and is able to (shakily) make it to the bathroom and back on his own, and his wounds are healing well with no sign of infection, he gets released from the hospital. He gets settled in his own bed and immediately falls asleep again. When he wakes up again, his parents are standing in the bedroom doorway, looking on edge.

Steve forces himself more awake and asks, “Are you leaving soon, then?”

His father frowns. “No, not until you’re more healed.”

“Really?”

His father nods.

“Your friend, Jonathan, had some things to say to us,” his mother says.

Steve’s surprised. He kind of assumed since he didn’t die, Jonathan wouldn’t repeat any of what Steve had said. “He did?”

“Oh, yes, about you being sorry for whatever you did. Steve…” his mother trails off.

His father puts a hand on her shoulder. “We’re bad at this.”

Steve is confused. “Bad at what? Talking?”

His father gives a grim smile. “Well, yes, but I meant we’re bad at being parents. We always have been. I’m not sure how much you remember or how much you just didn’t realize.”

Steve feels completely lost. “I, what?”

His mother comes over and perches on the side of his bed. His father comes closer too, standing just behind her. His mother runs her hand over his comforter in a nervous pattern, looking uneasy in a way Steve’s never seen. “It was never you. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

His father blows out a breath through his nose. “We were bad at it and I suppose we thought we’d get better, learn, but we never really did.”

“I don’t understand,” Steve says.

His mother grimaces. “You almost drowned in a bathtub when you were two, I wasn’t paying enough attention.”

His father sighs. “We left you alone in a hotel room when you were four for hours because we forgot you were with us.”

“I didn’t give you any sort of regular bedtime and sometimes would keep you up most of the night,” his mother says, with very little emotion.

“We let you eat whatever you wanted, not realizing until we hired Mrs. Souberry that it was bad for you,” his father says.

“I was too distant with you,” his mother says.

“I didn’t want to be lenient, but I was too harsh,” his father says matter-of-factly.

His mother seems to get impatient with the whole thing and waves it away with her hands. “There were lots of other things and so when you got to an age when you could take care of yourself, we let you, because you were better at it than we were.”

Steve has no clue what to say, he’s so overwhelmed. They didn’t say the words ‘we’re sorry’ or ‘we love you’, but that’s what they meant. A part of him is so _relieved_ \- to know that _he_ didn’t do anything. But there’s another part that’s so disappointed, because if it wasn’t something he did, then it’s not something that he can fix. It does help, a little, but he really wishes it could be different. Steve nods and says, “Okay,” because he’s not really sure what else there is to say.

“We’ll let you get some rest,” his mother says, getting up, smoothing out her skirt as she stands. 

Steve watches as they leave his bedroom, closing the door behind them.

~~~

Steve’s parents really are terrible at this. They don’t remember to get his medication to him when he should have it. And they only remember to bring meals about half the time, so he has to get downstairs and get something on his own, which is not great for Steve since his balance can still be a little iffy and he sometimes gets confused due to the concussion and the blood loss, though both are getting better. When he tries to get on a more regular sleep schedule like the doctors recommended, they either let him sleep when he shouldn’t be sleeping or keep him up when he should be. 

Steve finally sits down with his parents and talks. They decide that maybe they should go back to where they were handling some sort of deal and get him someone in the healthcare field to check in on him during the day and maybe have Jonathan or Billy stay over at night for a few days. Nancy is not mentioned, mostly because when she comes to visit him, she’s very stand-offish with his parents, where Billy is weirdly charming, and Jonathan is quiet (Steve knows he’s quietly judging them, but apparently Jonathan doesn’t make them feel uncomfortable like Nancy does). Steve thinks they probably know she’ll be over as much, but they don’t say anything about it. Steve also knows his mother remembers their conversation by the way she looks at anyone around his age that comes over, but she just tells him to be careful and doesn’t otherwise mention it.

Before they leave for Pueblo, he also talks to them about what he wants to do, this time without his father being so rigid or disapproving. And Steve feels like he finally has an actual plan for his future and even if his parents aren’t exactly excited about it, they seem to be able to accept it.

~~~

Steve’s lying on the couch. He should go upstairs to bed because there’s pressure building in his head that will probably turn into a raging headache if he doesn’t take something and then lie down in a dark room. But, Billy, Jonathan, and Nancy are all here and he wants to be here with them. Maybe if he just rests here a while, it will be okay. The kids had been over earlier and instead of playing their fantasy quest thing, they had played board games, likely because Steve gets frustrated when he can’t follow what they are doing with the quest thing. It had been great – Steve is really good at both Sorry! and Life. It was tiring, though.

Billy is teasing Nancy about something, a book, Steve thinks. Even though she’s trying to be calm, it’s getting to her, riling her up. Which is exactly what Billy is trying for. Steve is not sure how she hasn’t caught on that sometimes Billy just does it because he likes to see her get all huffy. 

Jonathan comes over and sits down near Steve. “I thought you were fine with your parents being away,” Jonathan says.

Jonathan’s statement isn’t loud, but Nancy and Billy go abruptly quiet.

“You thought I was okay with being left alone for weeks at a time?” Steve asks disbelievingly. “Having to get all the groceries and fix all my meals if I wanted to eat at home, making sure all the chores were done because no one else was going to do them, taking care of myself when I was sick? You thought I was fine with all that?”

“That’s not… You never talked about it,” Jonathan says.

“We also don’t talk about you being worried about your brother and mom, Nancy still feeling guilty over Barb, or what Billy’s father does to him. I kind of thought we were not talking about the bad things,” Steve says.

It’s really, really quiet all of a sudden. Jonathan looks upset, Nancy looks she’s been caught doing something she shouldn’t, and Billy is just frozen.

“I just didn’t want to bother anybody, worrying doesn’t help anything,” Jonathan says in a small voice.

Nancy bites her lip and looks down before saying, “I don’t want to be told it’s not my fault and I don’t want to be comforted, it just makes me feel worse.”

Billy sets his jaw and bites out, “I’m- My father doesn’t- Nobody does anything to me, so there’s nothing to talk about.”

Steve looks at Billy warily and notices Jonathan and Nancy doing the same. “Okay, we can go back to pretending.”

Billy gets up and comes storming over to Steve. Jonathan tenses up next to Steve and Nancy stands up and hurries over too, hovering behind Billy. Billy towers over Steve where he’s lying on the couch. “There is nothing to pretend,” he snarls.

Steve braces himself because this could go really badly. He reaches out and gently grasps one of Billy’s clenched fists. Steve moves his thumb softly over the fading bruises on Billy’s wrist. Steve doesn’t say anything, just waits for whatever Billy is going to do next, which hopefully is just yelling and not actually hitting Steve. But Steve would rather get hit, even though he’s still healing, if it means Billy not twisting out of his hold and taking off. Though it looks like Billy won’t get the chance to hit him since Jonathan and Nancy seem ready to keep that from happening, bodily if necessary. But Billy doesn’t do any of those things. Instead, he closes his eyes and his fist slowly uncurls and turns in Steve’s grip until they’re holding hands. Billy blows out a shaky breath and opens his eyes. “You can stop with the big, sad eyes now. It’s-“ Billy shrugs. “It is what it is and when I can, I’ll leave his house. But don’t try to do anything about it.”

Nancy puts a hand on Billy’s shoulder. “Billy…”

“Wheeler, it won’t work, trust me. He’ll just move us or something worse,” Billy says seriously, turning his head to look her in the eye. “Please,” he says like it’s being torn from him.

“Okay,” Nancy says with a grimace.

Billy looks at Jonathan then. 

Jonathan nods, his expression solemn.

Billy looks back to Steve.

“Can’t we just aim the next Demo… creature at him?” Steve asks.

Billy snorts out a surprised laugh.

Nancy looks like she thinks she should be disapproving, but is actually considering it and maybe coming up with a plan.

Jonathan shakes his head. “I don’t think so. They don’t really aim well. And I’m kind of hoping there are no more of those. Ever.”

That’s when Steve remembers how that man Jonathan’s mom was dating died and cringes a little. “Yeah, alright.” Steve reaches up with his free hand and rubs at his forehead, that headache that was threatening now coming on.

“C’mon. I think it’s time for all good little Steves to go to bed,” Billy says.

“I am good, but you know very well I’m not little,” Steve says suggestively, although he really isn’t up for any kind of follow-through.

Billy raises an eyebrow. “Maybe you can remind me after you get some sleep, Big Boy.”

Steve grumbles, but starts to get up and then almost falls over from the dizziness because he does it too fast.

Then Jonathan and Nancy and Billy are all there, surrounding him. Billy’s dropped Steve’s hand to get ahold of his arm and Nancy’s got the other one with Jonathan standing behind him with an arm around Steve’s waist.

“Just a little dizzy,” Steve says.

They either don’t believe him or don’t care because they all keep hold and walk him up to his room. They get him settled in his bed and Nancy gets him to take some pain medication before turning off the lights. Steve doesn’t mean to, but he makes some sort of little pathetic noise when they all go to leave. He turns on the bed, facing away from the door and pulls a pillow over his head, embarrassed. He startles a little when after a few moments the covers lift and there is a weight on the bed. Someone scoots over, settling just behind him, a small, warm hand landing on his arm. Steve pulls the pillow off his head.

“I have to leave in a couple of hours, to get home before curfew, but I’ll be back in the morning,” Nancy whispers in the dark.

Steve covers her hand with his own and squeezes.

~~~

Nancy isn’t there yet when the nurse arrives and Jonathan and Billy make themselves scarce. Minnie (she frowns when Steve tries to call her Ms. Minnillo) chats about her nieces and nephews while she does her checks and makes sure he eats something. She examines his wounds and asks questions about how he’s feeling and if he’s having any problems. She is concerned about the dizziness and tells him it doesn’t necessarily point to anything serious, but a fall could cause re-injury or set back his recovery. She’s more concerned about the headaches, but tells Steve that they are a common symptom after concussions and may continue for several months. She finishes up with a somewhat embarrassingly specific list of activities he should avoid for now (when he’d left the hospital, he’s pretty sure they’d just said no strenuous activities) and then leaves.

Steve shuffles around a bit, just sweatpants on, getting fresh clothes. There’s a noise from the doorway. Steve looks over and sees Billy, but Billy’s looking at where the Demobat got its teeth in. 

“Why isn’t that bandaged? Isn’t that part of why she was here?” Billy demands.

“I told her I was going to wash up. She left stuff for me to do it afterwards,” Steve says gesturing through to the bathroom where gauze and tape and other things are laid out on the counter.

“Oh. Want any help?” Billy says and makes a pretty weak attempt at leering.

Steve thinks about it. It would be nice to take a shower, he’s only supposed to take them if someone is in the bathroom with him. “Well, if you want to stick around, make sure I don’t slip and die or something.”

Billy looks confused and a little alarmed. “What?”

Steve sighs. He should probably be more patient, but he doesn’t exactly like asking for help. He feels like he’s been doing it so much since he woke up. “Just watch me in the shower, in case I lose my balance.”

“I can do that,” Billy says and this time his leer is much better.

Steve rolls his eyes and walks into the bathroom. He turns on the water to let it get warm. He doesn’t look at Billy as Steve shucks off his sweats and underwear and puts them in the hamper. He gets into the shower and nearly jumps in surprise when Billy climbs in behind him. “I thought you were going to watch.”

“I can watch from here. Much better position to be in to catch you.” Billy hooks his chin over Steve’s shoulder. “Plus, there was something about a reminder.” Billy strokes Steve’s hip temptingly.

Steve tenses up in anticipation and then hisses out a breath in pain. That might have something to do with why there are all those things on that list.

Billy’s hand stops moving. “Steve?”

“Um, I guess I’m not quite up for that yet.”

“Goddammit,” Billy says, sounding angry.

“Sorry,” Steve says.

“Why are _you_ sorry? I should have realized. That was stupid of me,” Billy says, still sounding angry, but now Steve knows it’s at himself and not Steve.

“It’s fine.”

“It’s not,” Billy says. Billy then just takes over and does all the work, washing Steve’s hair, soaping Steve up, and getting him rinsed off, being very careful about all of it. Steve lets him because Billy seems to need to do it. And Billy also seems to enjoy it. Billy then gets him dried off and bandaged and even helps him dress in some clean sweatpants and one of the bigger button-downs shirts Steve’s parents had bought after he’d had trouble putting on and taking off t-shirts and more fitted button-downs.

They head downstairs and Nancy’s there now, sitting with Jonathan in the living room. Nancy, Jonathan, and Billy seem to have a silent conversation and then Billy herds Steve over to the couch and they all settle around him. Steve gets a sinking feeling in his stomach.

“We need to talk,” Nancy says.

That doesn’t sound good. “About what?” Steve asks warily.

“I told them about what you said, when you were lying there, bleeding,” Jonathan says and then looks down, swallowing hard.

Well, that doesn’t sound too bad. Of course, Steve’s not sure he remembers everything he said or if he had said all that he had meant to say. But he doesn’t think there was anything he should be too worried about. “Okay.”

“Steve, we’re not going to- We aren’t going to leave you behind,” Nancy says intently.

Ah. Steve smiles a little. It’s funny, but it’s not. “Yeah. So when he goes to New York,” Steve says, pointing to Jonathan, “and he goes to California,” he says, gesturing at Billy, “and you go off Princeton or Yale or Stanford or whatever top college a thousand miles away, you will all come back all the time to this town none of you like very much?”

“We- I- You can go to college too, you don’t have to stay here,” Nancy protests.

Steve laughs a little. “I’m not going to college. And I am staying here. At least until the kids graduate. Someone needs to keep an eye on them. The little shits will totally get themselves in trouble, even if it’s not, you know, world ending.”

Nancy looks a little angry. Billy’s frowning, but doesn’t seem mad. Jonathan, though, looks a little relieved. Steve thinks Jonathan’s been really torn about leaving his brother and mom and going off and maybe Steve being here makes that better for him.

“You don’t just have to settle, Steve. There’s a lot out there. What are you going to do here? Just work for your dad?” Nancy challenges.

“Nope. I’m going to be working for Mr. Frobisher.”

“Mr. Frobisher? At the community center?” Jonathan asks.

“Yeah. They’re expanding the after school programs and children’s activities. Coach had me help out the JV team and I was pretty good at it and I ended up doing it for some of the younger kids at the community center on weekends sometimes, I told you about that, and then Mr. Frobisher had me doing some other stuff. So, I got CPR certified. I talked to my parents and Mr. Frobisher and I’m going to do some training in August to get some other certifications,” Steve says, a little nervous now that he’s actually told them. It hadn’t been anything like a solid plan for a long time, but some part of it been in the back of his mind. It hadn’t really become one until he’d had to tell Mr. Frobisher that he wouldn’t be able to help for awhile after he’d gotten out of the hospital. Mr. Frobisher had been understanding, but he’d also started talking about what Steve could do when he was healed and had been talking about things that were months away, which had started Steve thinking about his future.

“That’s, that’s great, Steve,” Jonathan says.

“Yeah?” Steve asks.

Jonathan smiles. “Yeah.” Then he gives Billy and Nancy looks when they don’t say anything.

Nancy blinks and then takes a breath. “Is that what you really want to do?”

“Yes,” Steve says.

Nancy nods sharply. “Then I’m glad for you.”

“Really?” Billy asks Nancy incredulously. “There’s an evil alternate reality that just bleeds through every once in a while and _he_ wants to _stay_? And you’re _happy_ for him?” He turns to Jonathan. “That’s _great_?” Billy looks at Steve. “You almost _died_.” 

Steve thinks maybe Billy’s still a little upset about being in the dark about everything for so long. “But I didn’t,” Steve says with a shrug.

Billy throws up his hands. “So you’re staying here.”

Steve nods.

“Well, then, we’ll just have to figure something out,” Billy says.

“Figure what out?” Steve asks, confused.

“Visits, like you said,” Billy says.

“Are you serious? Really?” Steve asks doubtfully.

“You love us, don’t you? That’s what you told Jonathan, right?” Billy asks impatiently.

“Yes,” Steve says.

“Well, we love you, too,” Billy says, like it should be obvious.

“We do,” Nancy says.

“Yeah,” Jonathan agrees.

“So, that means that nobody is getting left behind. And it means we’re going to try make this work wherever we are. Got that, Steve?” Billy asks forcefully.

Steve doesn’t think it will be easy, but it’s a chance, which had seemed so out of reach even a few minutes ago. Steve’s eyes sting a little and he blinks rapidly. Then he smiles, because they’re going to try, they’re going to make an effort, for _him_. “Got it.”

The End

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know if you find any typos or if the format is messed up or if you think I need any tags.


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